It’s Later than We Think
Drowning is a terrible way to die. An inescapable nightmarish ghoul-like vacant response to a desperate plea to live. Virtue signallers blind even to the blood screaming for help, perhaps even staining their police boots in the dark. So very in the dark. Platitudes, appeasements abound. Truth is subjective and we have backed a side.…
A Silent Love
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people” GK Chesterton Despised and resented the Irish monks that settled in Nunraw Abbey at the end of World War II were absolutely not welcome. Sancta Maria Abbey in Nunraw is a mile from…
The Holiday Mirage
My favourite holiday has changed 360 degrees. I remember those days of youth counting down the months, the weeks and then the days. Often to wake up at the crack of dawn on d day and feel an anti-climax. That would pass, overtaken by endless swimming, sunburn and freestyle eating. Travellers cheques were almost sacred,…
Dreaming the Immortal
Maybe I inherited it from my mum. It only took about five minutes. But she had to be left alone for that time when she came through the door from work. It was pointless asking what was for tea? could I go out? could so and so stay over? She hung up her work clothes…
A Very Scottish Angel
I couldn’t pick him out in a police lineup. Only his eyes briefly caught mine and I felt a warmth when he sat beside me burly, chocolate brown hair, dressed for the season. He spoke with a thick accent rhythmic and singsong unmistakably from the very north tip of Scotland. Betty Hill? Smoo cave? He…
Stay or Go?
I thought I was a free spirit. Turns out I was scary, quite selfish, erratic and definitely unpredictable. I couldn’t trust anyone because I couldn’t trust myself! I thought rational decision making was for people who had given up on romance, passion and living on the edge. When all the consequences of my `non-decisions’ came…
A Satchel Full of Platitudes
I learned that history was neat and packaged. No suggestion of Marxist interpretations nor Japanese interpretations. Hitler acted completely alone. His propaganda duped a nation. We were to feel sorry for them but rest assured that could never happen in Scotland. Nor were harsh economic sanctions driving those who fell for Hitler. It was black…
Running with the Roe Deer
Outside the city’s hype and melancholy, in green pastures where the roe deer stare, then turn and jump, effortlessly, clearing the fence meant to contain them. If they could smile they would, their little white hairy powder puffs they wiggle in delight. Free. This is where walking or running, breathing in the purest air, pumps…
Life is Not a Lottery
When I am about to re-enter a dangerous situation and arrogantly presume I will get out again, my husband often retorts: “Aye Daniel was freed from the den of lions – but he didn’t go back for his bonnet!” This usually makes me laugh myself back to my senses. Not so for Lot’s wife, the…
The Liberation of `NO’
I have learnt to say No from saying Yes. From crouching fetal-like in self-betrayal. Many times that happened until, by the Grace of God, the connection, the pattern became visible. Yes, it was my yes, that never should have been, that created feeling uncomfortable and unclean. I practised at first in front of a mirror…
Highway to the Heights
“Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money—not even an extra tunic” To walk more every day, especially in the hills is something I would like to do. Walking teaches me. The rhythm, the fresh air, the sightseeing. Yes it’s therapeutic and so lovely discovering places the bus or car…
The Godfather
`God’s’ That is the one word that describes me. After many prodigal years I found that out by accident. Killing time, staying uncomfortably, in someone else’s house I read the Footprints in the Sand poem which was in a clip frame in their bathroom. I could hardly avoid it as I brushed my teeth. I…
The pleasure of Patience
My mum was coming down her stairs. A difficult feat in her last days and only performed if she had an appointment she had to attend. I was working daily on a roller coaster of emotions. The intensity of caring for an elderly, widowed mother with historic emotional challenges, was not easy. “Come on mum…
The Garden Bug
“Well at least it will give you peace of mind” was all I seemed to hear when my first flush of youth was over. “I don’t want peace of mind” I raged inside. I want drama, romance, jealousy, possession, love! I guess you can’t want something you never had and I don’t know if I…
Have we forgotten the State Intervention we Loathed during COVID?
I just knew 2026 was going to be a challenge. For twelve years my husband had enjoyed little complication from Prostate cancer. Now he has advanced stage 4 prostate cancer. The advanced bit we knew early January. The PSA blood test used to detect if prostate cancer spreads had rocketed. More than doubled in a…
The Hidden Paws
I guess cats. If I am to make any comparison then cats. For starters I can sleep like cats sleep. For long, long periods. I am a real stickler for routine the way cats are. I like to think I go where I am needed, like cats. The cats I have had the joy of…
Margaret’s Magic
We were big on middle names in my family. Many used their middle name as their first name. I was not too hot on my middle name. It seemed so boring and so old fashioned. I guess when I knew it was my grandma’s name I felt more warm towards it. She was a strong…
Learning to hear birdsong
It was a summer of contrasts, fearful imaginings and new beginnings. I met a man. A real man. My tumultuous and never should have happened marriage was dispersing into an empty painful divorce. We couldn’t be amicable as we never had been. My goal now was to finish the nurse training I never should have…
My brother’s suicide
Perhaps because there is no goodbye it was the hardest. Worse still anyone who has experienced this tragedy knows you piece together your own goodbye with what ifs, regrets, disbelief. And for a long time all this shapes the narrative backwards. You doubt if you ever knew him, the truth, how he was. Every photograph…
Ashes to Ashes
I have grown to like the humbling of ashes on my forehead. The chance to speak up in silence the charcoal cross carved on my forehead as my blonde hair caresses. And to look around to see who else is saying today ‘ I am God’s child’ And that is the most important thing. I…
Forgiveness the best gift
Forgiveness unforseen you gave me without a ‘But’ without a price tag without a regular reminder bitter and grudged. ‘It might take me a while to trust’ you said but it didn’t because you knew yourself and you knew me and you wanted our love more than ego. Ego is lonely and unforgiveness an open…
A Doctor for the Living
Your expertise I do not doubt Your algorithms, statistics and precise patterning I can only marvel at. Your awards are well deserved Your world renowned reputation is something I myself spread. In the cities the Bookmakers concur and gleam from your accuracy. Your prediction of time, of time left, of how and the how…
Twelve Years
When 12 years of remission from cancer ends ….
Fool Me Once
Naked, it feels, in a cafe, at work, or a family gathering. Bargaining with God this can’t be the deal Lord! They think I am a fool They tell me I am a fool Am I a fool? Sacrifice God sure – but why this one? Why are the beautiful things in my life foolish…
rmemme.com 
You must be logged in to post a comment.